Half a citizen

The taxi went on the Benjamin Sheares Bridge on a bright sunny day. The Singapore Flyer is nothing but two vertical shafts sticking from the Marina East. The land that is marked for the new casino was flat and bare, the trucks were driving in and out of the grassland, stirring up clouds of dirt and sand. The Grand Stand meant to replace the role of the National Stadium is just a massive scalfolding and they were stil driving the piles into the bay for the floating platform. I thought to myself, what a beautiful city this is and how exciting the future for the next generation.

That was 2005. I was leaving the airforce and having this large uncertainty in my future. I have not found a job yet. I was reading a The Strait Times article about the need to ban all the gay parties and that these parties were responsible for the spike in the HIV infected numbers.

I am born in Alexandria Hospital, grew up in Singapore, hold a pink Identity Card and served my National Service faithfully and earned my promotion through hard work. My father's birthday is on the National Day. I am nothing but a Singaporean, at least the rights given by those things I have done.

Unfortunately, each time I read about the negative reports on the gay issues and the plain outward rejection of the Government, I started to question on my pink citizenship. What I am, half a Singaporean? Am I a lesser Singaporean than the PRs? I dunno. I am probably 50% Singaporean, until the day the Government fully accepted the other half of me. The gay part of me that is.

Since 24 yo, I have never hide my sexuality and gradually, that part of me has become more and more visible. If you asked me if I am worried about repercussion to my future, I have no ideas. I cannot be bothered cos I simply have too little to lose.

All I wanted is, within my lifetime I will be granted my rightful full citizenship. Not one percent less. Not because I have the extra pink dollar to spend for your economy. Not because by accepting my sexuality, you can attract more talent or investment or add vitality to your country. I expected it to be unconditionally because my contributions to you has been, and will always be unconditional.

I will love my country even if you deny my rights to be a gay person. Just tell me that I have a place in this city of possibilities... Just remember, my blood is red too, like yours.