20/30

I have just celebrated my 30th birthday on last Saturday. A fabulous weekend holiday in Bangkok, away from home, office, emails and MSN. I only logged in to clear the spams from my mailbox so that my Mac Mail won't be jam packed with junk mails.

I will probably do a proper summary on the trip after I finished my birthday celebration which should end with a dinner with my sister and bro-in-law. Then I will write on how I feel at 30 yo. But not now, I will talk about someone else. Someone whom I know only for 1 hr 20 min.

We all (most gay men) know that in Bangkok there are lots of massage parlours. Some of them provide excellent massages and others are a front of sexual services. I shall not pretend that I do not know these exists. The last trip to Bangkok in 2005, a group of us walked in one and the boys are lined up like fishes in a tank. Pick your choice. We got scared off by the over-excited boss and quit the idea of getting massage there.

This time, before the flight back to Singapore, I decided to give myself another proper massage. The spa is just next to Sala Daeng BTS, called Paradiz and is actually listed on the tourist map. A huge spa of four floors with nicey Thai decor. Affordable price.

Bank, a 23 yo guy attended to me and we attempted a short conversation with his limited English. I cannot speak any Thai though. I was telling him where I was from and how things are like here. And a few times during that 80 min session, I looked at him in his eyes and saw it filled with sadness. It stick to me till today. I sensed his wish to see the world outside the spa. Everyday he will sit outside the spa and hand out leaflets. While I think the spa he is working is pretty decent, I cannot imagine myself sitting out in the hot humid day, repeating the same words to the passing strangers and then attending to their naked bodies. It will take a lot from me to do so, especially in a country where sex tourism is common and the boys are sometimes treated like toys.

No doubt, it is a skill and a form of health therapy, but I am sure there are plenty of gay men who want more than a good massage and same number who are willing to do a little more 'special' to earn a few more bucks. It can be a tainted industry in Bangkok but many have to do it for survival or better lives. I was talking to Monica about the money boys I saw in DJ station and I told her if one has a better job or education, one would not wan to do this.

At 20 yo, I was happy that I could make a big difference to my family's living condition through working hard and earning a decent salary. At 30 yo, I am contented that there are plenty of opportunities in my life and I am free to make any decision which meet my needs and dreams. I dun have to do some jobs because I am desperate to bring food home. I am truly contented and I will live by that.

As for Bank, I wish he will have a better life and one day, buy himself a holiday and see the world outside the spa.