One of the first adult lesson I learnt was during my years in regular service. Back then I was probably 22 year old, dying to prove myself in the force and make a difference in the force.
We were organising one major event at brigade level and I was very involved in the committee despite of my low rank. We were very determined to see the event went on without a hitch. But it was not to be. Just one week before the event, one serviceman who was having a bad blood with one of our superior, sabotaged the event by destroying some of the most important equipment and stuff we prepared so painstakingly for two months. A set of stuff was also stolen from the office.
I was the first one who discovered it when I was preparing one of the stuff. A flag which was designed and printed by me, was sliced up right in the middle. I walked to the superior room and told him about it. What happened after was something I cannot imagine. One after the other, we uncovered more damage and loss. Within the next one hour, we called for an immediate meeting involved everyone. A team of individual who has a direct involvement and whom the management decided to be innocent. I was one of them.
We searched and dig the entire office (including the whole ceiling board) for the next two hours and when we realised that it must have been removed from the office, we had to call in the independent investigators. For the next few weeks, dozen of people are questioned and they finally narrowed down to one person. I had to testify against a fellow colleague.
This incident hit me really hard. To a point, I actually burst into tears when I got home. Not only I was overwhelmed with the fact that we had to replace within one week the missing and damaged items, I was shell shocked on what an adult is capable of. At 22 yo, I was still learning the working adult life after managing my own family issues. I used to believe that we are all adults and are capable to sort things out by talking it out. I understood why the bad working relationship between the colleague and superior. What I cannot grasp is, why an adult can be so vicious by trying to destroy one person's career while affecting so many others whom he called his friends and close colleagues. To be honest, this cut my heart deeply.
I was trying to make sense of it while trying to savage situations and minimise ripple effects. One night, I was sorting out the stuff with my mentor, we are looking at a pile of crap that we hope to find a piece that can be presented on the next day. I know my mentor was also feeling the heat and disappointment and we were completely helpless with the rubbish in front of us. I decided to crack a joke that we could still recover some loss by selling the stuff in Vietnam. We laughed our hearts out before going through the pile again. Our close relationship started from then and has always been.
I learnt that what people are capable of. In the name of that they are also the victims, for revenge and sometimes the claim that they are doing it for the benefit of the company. I have seen it once and I have seen it many times. Power can corrupt, anger blinds, jealously is poisonous. People will find tons and tons of excuses to justify the wrongs they have done, and talked people into buying the idea.
Nothing is more fearful than one's mind when you cannot read it. Nelson Mandela and Gusmao have something in common that I really admired. They stepped down after serving for one term. I believed that they understand they can only check on their own integrity for so long. Any longer they may bring negative side effects to others who they wanted to serve. People do stay on after a while they are used to something, sometimes for a good cause but at times, for their own selfish benefits. A young and untrained eye sometimes do not see it.
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