I am inching towards big 30 and a friend who has way passed his, sent me a list. I filtered through and deleted those I have not done. Not a bad list to start off with, shows that I am hardly a loser (or the other way round)
1. Got a proper job.
3. Had good sex.
4. Had disappointing sex with someone you’ve fancied for ages.
5. Had sex in a car.
9. Stopped asking your Mom for money (it should be going back to her on direct debit by now).
10. Given up caring so much what other people think.
12. Learned how to take premature ejaculation and occasional impotence in your stride.
13. Had your heart broken.
14. Had a bone broken.
15. Learned that both mend. Eventually.
16. Learned exactly the where, what and why of the prostate.
20. Sorted out your sexuality.
21. Gone scene crazy for awhile.
22. Learned to stay in more.
23. Stopped listening to music just for its ironic camp factor.
24. Started listening to music you really like.
27. Learned how to iron a shirt, sew on a button, cook a decent meal and change a fuse (without blowing the whole circuit) and change a tyre.
28. Slept with a much younger man.
29. Slept with a much older man.
31. Stopped measuring your dick. It will not grow any more. Deal with it.
32. Experimented with facial hair.
33. Stopped experimenting with facial hair.
34. Learned how to handle your money.
35. Had a credit card stopped due to over-spending.
37. Been to a funeral.
38. Cheated the tax man.
39. Cheated on the man in your life.
40. Lost touch with friends you thought you’d know for the rest of your life.
43. Had sex on at least three continents.
45. Had a threesome / foursome / group sex.
46. Learned how to spend a weekend happily alone.
47. Resigned from a job.
49. Said something you’ll regret for the rest of your life.
51. Learned how to get by (passably) in another language.
52. Made a boyfriend cry.
53. Had a boyfriend make you cry.
54. Stopped hating lesbians. It’s such a cliché.
55. Used a sex toy. While watching EastEnders. Just because you’re bored.
56. Stopped shaving your balls. It’s so déclassé now everyone does it. This also covers waxing every available inch of your skin. Some body hair is OK, kapeesh?
58. Been celibate for a while.
59. Learned to laugh at yourself.
60. Bought your Mum a really good Birthday / Christmas present that they actually want.
61. Decided exactly where you stand on politics and religion.
62. Thrown away clothes you wore when you were eighteen.
63. Learned the point at which to stop drinking.
64. Given up on unrequited love.
65. Learned when to shut your mouth. And when to open it.
66. Made a good friend, not from school or work.
67. Realised a little compromise in everything is mandatory, not optional.
68. Been on a stag do.
69. Been a best man.
70. Learned how to talk to your brother / sister without shouting.
73. Had a one-night stand you’re really ashamed of.
74. Been to a sex club.
75. Stopped looking for love in all the wrong places.
76. Stopped playing games with your boyfriends and learned how to be yourself. If they can’t handle that, it’s their problem.
77. Been sent flowers from an admirer.
78. Stayed in a really posh hotel.
79. Owned an impressive stash of porn.
80. Realised porn isn’t the be-all and end-all of life.
82. Developed a baby beer gut.
83. Had a direct debit for a gym membership you never use.
84. Learned to lie convincingly.
85. Stopped going for bad boys. THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE.
89. Learned the difference between Bordeaux and Burgundy, Glenfiddich and Glenmorangie, cava and champagne.
90. Learned how to lose with good grace.
91. Learned who your friends are. And your enemies.
92. Stopped expecting your parents to be perfect.
93. Had an amicable break-up.
94. Had a messy break-up.
95. Learned how to say ‘No’.
96. Stopped having crushes on celebrities. Including Freddie Ljunberg. Sorry.
99. Learned how to admit when you’re wrong.
100. Decided what you’re going to do with the rest of your life. Sort of.
101. Learned that lists like this are a ridiculous waste of time and vow never to read one ever again.
For a complete list, http://rainbownetwork.com/Fun/detail.asp?iData=26807&iCat=110&iChannel=20&nChannel=Fun
3 comments:
your friend who sent you the list has not "way passed" his 30th birthday. in fact, he can still remember what he did on his 30th birthday, so it can't be that long ago!!!
no. 55 - you have not seen EastEnders before (it's a London-based soap opera) so you couldn't possibly have used a sex toy while watching it. ugh! the thought of it!!!
no. 89 - what on earth are Glenfiddich and Glenmorangie???
I got 68 out of 101 -- how many did you get?
oops make that 70 out of 101. mis-counted (told you I can't count properly).
how do you know the friend is not way passed 30. tsk tsk...
Must the items be tied together, why so anal one.
no. 89... hmmm.... I also dunno. Sounded like something edible. Just put la, if not I looked like I am pathetic.
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